JOCKS SANTA BANTA

The New Wife The new wife was being welcomed at the husband's home in a traditional manner. As expected she gave a speech: "My dear family, I thank you for welcoming me in my new home and family... Views : 60586 Rating : ***** more..	Best Friend Banta is sitting at the bar in his local tavern, furiously imbibing shots of whiskey. Santa happens to come into the bar and sees him... Views : 26571 Rating : ***** more..
Prized Goat While working on a message the pastor heard a knock at his office door. "Come in," he invited. A contrite-looking man in threadbare clothes came in, pulling a goat... Views : 10253 Rating : ***** more..	Married Life Not long after his marriage, Joe and his father, met for lunch. "Well, son," asked the father, "how is married life treating you?... Views : 21150 Rating : **** more..
Misunderstanding The homeowner was delighted with the way Santa had done all the paintwork on his house. "You did a great job," he said as he handed Santa his fees.. Views : 57432 Rating : ***** more..	New Girls A woman went to a pet shop & immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00, which seemed awfully cheap... Views : 70643 Rating : ***** more..
Pregnancy Test A blonde came running up to her husband in the driveway as he came home from work just jumping for joy. He didn't know why she was jumping for joy but thought... Views : 45119 Rating : **** more..	Freaking Jinx A man was walking across the road when he had an accident. The impact was on his head, which caused him to be comatose for two days before he finally regained... Views : 15224 Rating : **** more..
Sad Johnny The first day of school was going good for the new teacher and in an attempt to "break the ice" with the little second graders, she began to ask each student what their... Views : 42566 Rating : ***** more..	Crazy Love A minister visited an asylum for the mentally disturbed and was taken on a tour of the facilities by one of the resident doctors. Walking down the dismal, echoing corridors... Views : 33929 Rating : ***** more

jocks

Today's jokes[8.22.03]

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Why haven't Women landed on the Moon?

- Because it doesn't need cleaning yet!


1. Vote: Category: Women Send this joke to a friend



A little boy walks up to his father and says, "Dad, what does a pussy
look like?"
Father responds, "well son, before or after sex?"
Son, "Well, before?"
Father, "picture a tulip with all the petals son."
Son, "well what about after?"
Father, "Picture a bull dog eating mayonnaise!"




2. Vote: Category: Women Send this joke to a friend



Young Amanpreet never quite got over his miserable
childhood as an orphan in the ghetto. When he turned 18 he
joined the Marines, but old habits die hard and one night the
sergeant found him rummaging around the garbage and eating
out of the discarded cans and jars.

"On your free, Lizard Pecker," he bellowed. "You'll eat in
the message hall -- you're no better than the rest of us!"


3. Vote: Category: War and Military Send this joke to a friend



There's this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish
who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said,
"If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!"

Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone
who had committed adultery would say they had "fallen."

This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the
priest died at a ripe old age. About a week after the new priest
arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned.

The priest said, "You have to do something about the sidewalks in
town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about
having fallen."

The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new
priest about the code word.

Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at
the mayor and said, "I don't know what you're laughing about, your
wife fell three times this week."


4. Vote: Categories: Religion and Church, Marriage and Relationships Send this joke to a friend



Guy goes to hell and is met by the devil, who explains that the
punishments are changed every thousand years and he is to
select his first punishment.

First room has a young guy on the wall being whipped. The
new guy not keen on this asks to see the next room. The next
room has a middle aged guy being tortured with fire.

The new guy immediately asks to see the third room. It has an
really old guy chained to the wall getting a blow job from a
gorgeous blonde.

The guy jumps at the chance and takes the room.

The devil walks into the room taps the blonde on the shoulder
and says "okay, you can stop now. You've been relieved".


5. Vote: Category: Religion and Church Send this joke to a friend


BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD

The local priest came across Paddy who had stumbled out of the town tavern.

"Paddy," he said, " I'm afraid I'll not be seeing you in Heaven one day."

"Really, Father?" slurred Paddy. "What have you done?"

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